Anguish (Chapter 8)

I must admit that I could not sleep. Especially with this guilty conscience that would not let me sleep. Throwing back the words that I once called the monster, to the original monster. How could I have let a poor, innocent, woman die for what I have done?!? I am now more repulsed with myself, than with the creature that committed the crimes. The death of Justine still clings onto my soul. The whole time in the court the same question appeared throughout my mind saying"Why did you not speak up?" Of course I knew that logically, that would not have been on of the best of ideas but what was left of my humanity still toured me. How could I have left a human being, die over a creature that had no sense of humanity in him?

After letting the hours pass by steadily, the trial had started. I felt sick to the core of my stomach, thinking that I did not deserve to be here. And once Justine entered, the trial began. There were some things that pinned her down as the murder such as her where-beings that night, and her connection with the necklace. For me it did not matter. I still knew that my monster and I were to blame. Especially I since I was the one that gave the wretched creature life. And then, after having some witnesses stand  up and talk about Justine, it was my dearest cousin, Elizabeth, that could no longer hold it in her to keep quiet and let these people keep on talking about Justine with the intention of being a friend, yet speaking of her as if she could have committed the crime. After my cousin gave her opinion on the case, there was a moment of consideration but it was gone just as it had came.

After waiting for night to come to know the verdict, I was forced to tell my Elizabeth that her friend had confessed to the crime. I was confused for some moments, but then my cousin and I went to Justine's little prison-chamber on her request. She then told us truthfully that she was not guilty, and that she was still innocent. With that, I could no longer look upon her. I knew she would die believing that I was a dear friend to her, instead of truthfully knowing that I had brought this onto her.And so we left on bitter partings and left Justine to suffer alone.

Afterwards, I felt the guilt crush my soul as the soft, false words of consolation tried to alleviate my dearest Elizabeth. Why did I have to hurt my cousin twice? Why did I not speak up? Was it possible that I still had some sort of protection over my creature? Was that what had stopped me earlier before?

-Victor Frankenstein