My journey to Geneva is coming to an end. A few days ago I arrived with my father to Paris. I was feeling better but my father insisted on taking care of me and helping me seek amusement. But like any father, he knew how much dislike I had towards things that involved society. Many of the times, though, when he tried to help me we ended up arguing and he was still a bit baffled when I kept on repeating and insisting that I was the one that had killed all of my loved ones, that I was the one who had brought all of this upon myself. He thought I was still under some state of delirium after spending much time in prison, but he would never convince that I was innocent. Only I knew the dirty secrets that I kept from him, and only I would know.
Later on our voyage, I received a letter from Elizabeth. She explained her feelings toward me and that made me realize that I still had that impending vengeance on my head. And then I began to think the depression I would bring upon my lovely Elizabeth's mind if she received the news of my death. I am certain the creature will have my death planned on my wedding night. But I will be ready to face that death and exchange it for his. The relief I would bring if I delivered the last blow to this heinous monster. And so I wrote to my love that she not worry about feelings towards her, because she already had my heart and soul for her to keep with until eternity.
My father and I arrived to Geneva about a week later with a warm welcome from my Elizabeth. I now saw her a bit more thinner than when I had left her, but that still did not change the fact that I deserved such an angel to be mine. And so as soon as we arrived a date was set for our wedding day. In a matter of days, the day had come and I was ready to face the monster. But as the days approached to what I should have considered to be one of the happiest days of my life, I had grown distressed and tense. The day passed quickly for both of us and it soon became to the end of the day. So we went Evian and I awaited the challenge that the monster would bring and the sun then set with what I would later consider the last moments of happiness I would ever have.
-Victor Frankenstein
Monday, November 22, 2010
How Many More People Will Suffer?---Chapter 21
The first person that treated me kindly on this strange land was an old man that had an air of calmness to him. His name was Mr. Kirwin. He was the the magistrate to my "case" as I would call it. Then one after another, the townspeople said what they had seen the previous night. All of their claims were composed of the same essential thing, which was that they all saw a man in a boat. But there was one thing that did bring me to be guilty. They described that the victim was a male in mid twenties with black finger marks around his neck. I then started to have an idea of the murderer. Of course I knew of my innocence but I was in need of a witness for my part against their many claims of murder that were stacked high upon me. So instead they decided to present me towards the body to observe my reaction. Nothing could have prepared for what had happened next.
As they brought the body and slowly unveiled the white sheet extended over the body, I found myself staring upon the body of Henry Clerval! Of all the people in the world, the next victim to fall into the cruel evil plans of my monsters vengeance was my best friend! And without any restrain over my emotions anymore, I let my tears fall upon the once living body of Henry and let the never ending misery fill me up in front of the townspeople. And then after that, everything else became fuzzed out without me knowledge. I was later told by a nurse that was taking proper care of me that I suffered from convulsions and a fever. It was two months later when I was well enough to recollect this information.
Once I had somewhat all the health I could, the magistrate came into my room to know how my current health was. For some reason, he seemed to be a bit more nicer in this present stage. He then told me that I had a visitor. I repulsively had a wave of nausea and sickness come over me. I then exclaimed that I wished not to be visited by such foul monster. But he then cleared up that my visitor was my dear father. I was then pacified with this information and made it clear that I wished to see him.
After exchanging our salutations and knowing of each other's current news, my father stayed with me until the day of the jury. And with the help of Mr. Kirwin, I was found innocent and gained freedom once more. And I once more, set towards Geneva where I longed to be with my love, Elizabeth.
-Victor Frankenstein
As they brought the body and slowly unveiled the white sheet extended over the body, I found myself staring upon the body of Henry Clerval! Of all the people in the world, the next victim to fall into the cruel evil plans of my monsters vengeance was my best friend! And without any restrain over my emotions anymore, I let my tears fall upon the once living body of Henry and let the never ending misery fill me up in front of the townspeople. And then after that, everything else became fuzzed out without me knowledge. I was later told by a nurse that was taking proper care of me that I suffered from convulsions and a fever. It was two months later when I was well enough to recollect this information.
Once I had somewhat all the health I could, the magistrate came into my room to know how my current health was. For some reason, he seemed to be a bit more nicer in this present stage. He then told me that I had a visitor. I repulsively had a wave of nausea and sickness come over me. I then exclaimed that I wished not to be visited by such foul monster. But he then cleared up that my visitor was my dear father. I was then pacified with this information and made it clear that I wished to see him.
After exchanging our salutations and knowing of each other's current news, my father stayed with me until the day of the jury. And with the help of Mr. Kirwin, I was found innocent and gained freedom once more. And I once more, set towards Geneva where I longed to be with my love, Elizabeth.
-Victor Frankenstein
The Deal is Broken---Chapter 20
My connection with the monster has gotten worse.
It happened on what I had considered a normal evening. I was in my laboratory with nothing more than my treacherous thoughts and what was a half formed creature before me. The most dangerous of the two were my thoughts, thoughts that had lead me to create the first creature and this one, thoughts that had becomed actions and had hurt many people through the way. My thoughts were more different this evening than usual. My mind started to head towards the future. Once I had finished this monster, would life be better or worse? Would giving the creature a mate give my happiness and ensure the safety I longed for towards humankind? What if they did not feel an attraction towards each other? What if she rejected him? These questions kept on being formed throughout my mind which lead to one of the most significant questions, what if they desired to create their own form of creature race? They would destroy all of humankind and claim dominance over this earth. And so I began to think that I was not willing to have humankind's fall on my soul if I could barely contain my own soul, or what I still had left of it, with the deaths of my many loved ones.
Then, with the creatures hideous face grinning wicked back at me through the window I had made my decision and destroyed the form I was working on in front of him. I tore it limb to limb thoroughly, tearing ravishingly into it , making it to small pieces as if by doing that I was ensuring that it would no longer come back. And as I tore up the monster's only prospect of having a mate, he savagely threw back his head and ran away.
Later on into the night. he came back, demanding an explanation for my earlier action. I responded with what I still considered part of my sanity, that I no longer wished to be apart of his compromise. He continued on with his ramble of cursing me. And then swore vengeance on me on my wedding night. I was about to silence him, but before I could but my thought into action he had gone into the night. I thought for a considerably long time of what had just happened and about his promise and retired to bed with vengeance still drifting off into my slumber.
The following night I expected the creatures presence to arrive but instead was presented a letter from Henry. It mostly dealt with how he wished that I would leave my little isle of loneliness and accompany him towards society. And so with much decision making I resolved to accompany him and start to relive again. But that of course required me to clean up the pieces of the deformed creature. And after much time mustering up enough courage, I entered the laboratory and cleaned up the parts and chemicals. And after such a horrible task, I decided to relieve myself by letting my mind escape into nature on the small boat that drifted away carelessly onto the water. But the following morning I landed on a strange land with strangers acting very rudely towards me and then accusing me of murder. Of course I knew that I was innocent , so I let my mind not worry of such things. I should have known, better than to know that fate was not so kind....
-Victor Frankenstein
It happened on what I had considered a normal evening. I was in my laboratory with nothing more than my treacherous thoughts and what was a half formed creature before me. The most dangerous of the two were my thoughts, thoughts that had lead me to create the first creature and this one, thoughts that had becomed actions and had hurt many people through the way. My thoughts were more different this evening than usual. My mind started to head towards the future. Once I had finished this monster, would life be better or worse? Would giving the creature a mate give my happiness and ensure the safety I longed for towards humankind? What if they did not feel an attraction towards each other? What if she rejected him? These questions kept on being formed throughout my mind which lead to one of the most significant questions, what if they desired to create their own form of creature race? They would destroy all of humankind and claim dominance over this earth. And so I began to think that I was not willing to have humankind's fall on my soul if I could barely contain my own soul, or what I still had left of it, with the deaths of my many loved ones.
Then, with the creatures hideous face grinning wicked back at me through the window I had made my decision and destroyed the form I was working on in front of him. I tore it limb to limb thoroughly, tearing ravishingly into it , making it to small pieces as if by doing that I was ensuring that it would no longer come back. And as I tore up the monster's only prospect of having a mate, he savagely threw back his head and ran away.
Later on into the night. he came back, demanding an explanation for my earlier action. I responded with what I still considered part of my sanity, that I no longer wished to be apart of his compromise. He continued on with his ramble of cursing me. And then swore vengeance on me on my wedding night. I was about to silence him, but before I could but my thought into action he had gone into the night. I thought for a considerably long time of what had just happened and about his promise and retired to bed with vengeance still drifting off into my slumber.
The following night I expected the creatures presence to arrive but instead was presented a letter from Henry. It mostly dealt with how he wished that I would leave my little isle of loneliness and accompany him towards society. And so with much decision making I resolved to accompany him and start to relive again. But that of course required me to clean up the pieces of the deformed creature. And after much time mustering up enough courage, I entered the laboratory and cleaned up the parts and chemicals. And after such a horrible task, I decided to relieve myself by letting my mind escape into nature on the small boat that drifted away carelessly onto the water. But the following morning I landed on a strange land with strangers acting very rudely towards me and then accusing me of murder. Of course I knew that I was innocent , so I let my mind not worry of such things. I should have known, better than to know that fate was not so kind....
-Victor Frankenstein
Solitude is What I Need--Chapter 19
After arriving to London, Henry wanted to absorb the interactions with the carefree human beings not knowing that I had unleashed a demon of destruction. I was only here for the crucial information for the second creature. If I did not have this stench of guilt over my conscience, maybe then- and only then- would I have enjoyed this majestic land. On our tour I observed that Clerval had the same spirit I had once had in my happier days. He was both inquisitive and had the same energy for knowledge I had once had. This stirred up some spirits I had in my soul and made me nostalgic with a longing of the simpler times in my life. Before I had brought him....
We moved on from England to Scotland in a matter of months, which for me seemed to be an eternity, feeling the minutes just trickle by without any progress. I did however enjoy some moments with nature. Clean nature to purify my thoughts and cleanse my mind of my horrid thoughts. In those single, simple moments, did I let my guard down, and let my worries disappear into the air.
I eventually reached a point where I needed to be alone with my work that I could no longer be with my compain, Henry. and as any good friend would do, he tried to dissuade me into staying with him, but I did not want him near me when doing my unspeakable actions. I did not want another person to be contaminated by my work. And so I moved to a lonely place, as far away from humankind. But even here, in the loneliest of places on earth, there were still some humans upon this place. I thought for some time and took it that no longer where I was to create this creature, humankind would forever be within its reach, too near for my own comfort.
-Victor Frankenstein
We moved on from England to Scotland in a matter of months, which for me seemed to be an eternity, feeling the minutes just trickle by without any progress. I did however enjoy some moments with nature. Clean nature to purify my thoughts and cleanse my mind of my horrid thoughts. In those single, simple moments, did I let my guard down, and let my worries disappear into the air.
I eventually reached a point where I needed to be alone with my work that I could no longer be with my compain, Henry. and as any good friend would do, he tried to dissuade me into staying with him, but I did not want him near me when doing my unspeakable actions. I did not want another person to be contaminated by my work. And so I moved to a lonely place, as far away from humankind. But even here, in the loneliest of places on earth, there were still some humans upon this place. I thought for some time and took it that no longer where I was to create this creature, humankind would forever be within its reach, too near for my own comfort.
-Victor Frankenstein
Friday, November 12, 2010
Chapter 18-- I Do Not Deserve Her...
I am still having second thoughts on the decision I chose. How could I have even agreed with that creature? I keep on replaying the scene in my mind to know why. Slowing down to the moment I agreed and doubting myself. Did I agree so that humankind and I would no longer have had to deal with him any longer or did I agree because I am still somewhat...fascinated, you could say, that I will once more have the power to create another being with my hands? I am torn right now! Is there still apart of me that wants to keep on...creating...figures? Or am I truly doing this to save others? I mean even my father noticed that my health started to get better as I progressed in creating another creature. Is that a sign that doing this makes me...happy? Ugh, I am disgusted with my self right now. I do not know if I am good or evil. I need answers to these questions!
But before I go on, let me explain the reason why my father questioned me. He saw my pleasant side, but he also sensed my misery. I thought he was onto what I was doing but he surprised me a bit when he brought up Elizabeth. He asked if it had to do with my engagement with Elizabeth but I told him that it was not that. If anything she is the reason why I still have some of my sanity still intact. She is the reason why I still lived. She is the reason why I still find enjoyment in the world. My beautiful Elizabeth...
In the end, I decided to go to England to continue on with the creation of the next creature. It took us a while but we reached London. And on the way, I contemplated that I would try to keep these creations away from my family and Elizabeth as much as I could. My mind cannot begin to imagine losing her....And she still worries about me so much that she insisted on me bring my companion, Clerval, to go along with me. It kills me inside that I am not there to comfort her, but I am the cause of her misery. And I love Elizabeth so much that I cannot even let myself be with her right now. What I would give to protect her from the world, from the monster, from me....
-Victor Frankenstein
But before I go on, let me explain the reason why my father questioned me. He saw my pleasant side, but he also sensed my misery. I thought he was onto what I was doing but he surprised me a bit when he brought up Elizabeth. He asked if it had to do with my engagement with Elizabeth but I told him that it was not that. If anything she is the reason why I still have some of my sanity still intact. She is the reason why I still lived. She is the reason why I still find enjoyment in the world. My beautiful Elizabeth...
In the end, I decided to go to England to continue on with the creation of the next creature. It took us a while but we reached London. And on the way, I contemplated that I would try to keep these creations away from my family and Elizabeth as much as I could. My mind cannot begin to imagine losing her....And she still worries about me so much that she insisted on me bring my companion, Clerval, to go along with me. It kills me inside that I am not there to comfort her, but I am the cause of her misery. And I love Elizabeth so much that I cannot even let myself be with her right now. What I would give to protect her from the world, from the monster, from me....
-Victor Frankenstein
Chapter 17-- Considering my Options
I am still surprised he wants a mate! Does he not understand what kind of stress I am under because of him and he wants me to do another of those things?!? No, I do not wish to partake again in the misfortune of my family and of mine. I do not wish to put my family and my Elizabeth in more danger. But then he proposed something that I considered. He proposed that if I were to make him another of his kind, then he would not just vanish from my life, but also the life of other human beings. That is what made me consider and try to predict the outcome of the proposal. Of course it would be much work, once more working on another creature, but my need to find some sort of relief from my creature made me consider this. He then continued on with bringing up the benefits that would be brought onto me if I created his mate. I thought for some time and then...I accepted. I was not overjoyed or full of relief. So after discussing and accepting the monsters proposal, I went for a night walk. I had to go to real, natural, nature to comfort me once more. So I departed to the fountain and once more let the quiet night fill up with the insides of my inner tormenting.
-Victor Frankenstein
-Victor Frankenstein
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Chapter 16-- Bad Perceptions
As my creature continued on with his story, I realised that just as he was a pain for me, I was a pain for him. I was the person who caused rejection and betrayal to be awakened in him. I was the one who ruined other human beings for him; his own creator. But not only did I carry this awful trait around with me, but so did other human beings. So now all the human beings that he saw, he would eternally pin them with my own characteristics. Felix, another human being he had become acquainted with, and the rest of his family had also left something another mark on my creation; abandonment. Another trait that would connect instantly when he thought of the word humans. I only wish I could change my creations perceptions on human beings, his whole existence, but it was too late to think of that now.
As he moved on with his story and how he decided to look for me, he brought up that he saved a girl at the expense of being shot. Although he had earlier thought of human beings as vile creatures, he still saved a human beings life. Could it have been that he changed his mind or that he just repulsively had the urge to help her? Oh, how it tortures me now that I am unable to know my creatures thoughts nor control them. I felt compassion towards him, but it did not stay for long. My anger sparked back to life as he mentioned why and how he killed William. I stopped feeling remorse for him and tried to remember the kind of creature he was and what he was capable of doing. After being reawakened, he told me something that stunned me...he wanted a mate.....
-Victor Frankenstein
As he moved on with his story and how he decided to look for me, he brought up that he saved a girl at the expense of being shot. Although he had earlier thought of human beings as vile creatures, he still saved a human beings life. Could it have been that he changed his mind or that he just repulsively had the urge to help her? Oh, how it tortures me now that I am unable to know my creatures thoughts nor control them. I felt compassion towards him, but it did not stay for long. My anger sparked back to life as he mentioned why and how he killed William. I stopped feeling remorse for him and tried to remember the kind of creature he was and what he was capable of doing. After being reawakened, he told me something that stunned me...he wanted a mate.....
-Victor Frankenstein
Chapter 15 -- I'm Amazed!
I am still paralyzed in my mind, not believing the eloquent, smooth, fluent words coming out of my creatures mouth. I am in awe of how he was able to learn and quench this language in a matter of months. He is not what I thought...he is not what I expected..... And for some moments I actually wanted to connect to my creature. As he talked to me about his actions I started to have some realization that he may not just be a creature but...something. He tried to help his protectors by collecting wood for them. I started to see the little things he did for those who protected him. It showed that he had feelings and that he had grown attached to them. It slowly sinked into me...that there could possibly be...an actual--no I must stop my self before I say the word. No matter what he killed William. He is to blame on the misery of those who I loved as I was. My soul is being torn into pieces. I no longer know who I am. I still listened to my creature as he told his story. Another thing that I was...surprisingly happy to know was that he was interested in learning. Not only did he learn but he wanted to continue on with it. Many of the things he has told have caught me off guard.
He also made some connections with things he had read.And after talking about the books he asked me a question that made me feel repulsed with myself once more. Something that no creator would like to hear from his creature. "Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from [it] in disgust(94)?" And it made me realise that I did not deserve the power to create if I did not know why I would not cherish it. He still brought up references from Paradise Lost which again made me aware of my own faults. And as I heard him how he tried to communicate with others and how he was rejected once more, I could not help but let a bit of sympathy seep out into my feelings for his pathetic attempt. No matter how hard my monster tried to fit, he would never be fully accepted.
-Victor Frankenstein
He also made some connections with things he had read.And after talking about the books he asked me a question that made me feel repulsed with myself once more. Something that no creator would like to hear from his creature. "Why did you form a monster so hideous that even you turned from [it] in disgust(94)?" And it made me realise that I did not deserve the power to create if I did not know why I would not cherish it. He still brought up references from Paradise Lost which again made me aware of my own faults. And as I heard him how he tried to communicate with others and how he was rejected once more, I could not help but let a bit of sympathy seep out into my feelings for his pathetic attempt. No matter how hard my monster tried to fit, he would never be fully accepted.
-Victor Frankenstein
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Anguish (Chapter 8)
I must admit that I could not sleep. Especially with this guilty conscience that would not let me sleep. Throwing back the words that I once called the monster, to the original monster. How could I have let a poor, innocent, woman die for what I have done?!? I am now more repulsed with myself, than with the creature that committed the crimes. The death of Justine still clings onto my soul. The whole time in the court the same question appeared throughout my mind saying"Why did you not speak up?" Of course I knew that logically, that would not have been on of the best of ideas but what was left of my humanity still toured me. How could I have left a human being, die over a creature that had no sense of humanity in him?
After letting the hours pass by steadily, the trial had started. I felt sick to the core of my stomach, thinking that I did not deserve to be here. And once Justine entered, the trial began. There were some things that pinned her down as the murder such as her where-beings that night, and her connection with the necklace. For me it did not matter. I still knew that my monster and I were to blame. Especially I since I was the one that gave the wretched creature life. And then, after having some witnesses stand up and talk about Justine, it was my dearest cousin, Elizabeth, that could no longer hold it in her to keep quiet and let these people keep on talking about Justine with the intention of being a friend, yet speaking of her as if she could have committed the crime. After my cousin gave her opinion on the case, there was a moment of consideration but it was gone just as it had came.
After waiting for night to come to know the verdict, I was forced to tell my Elizabeth that her friend had confessed to the crime. I was confused for some moments, but then my cousin and I went to Justine's little prison-chamber on her request. She then told us truthfully that she was not guilty, and that she was still innocent. With that, I could no longer look upon her. I knew she would die believing that I was a dear friend to her, instead of truthfully knowing that I had brought this onto her.And so we left on bitter partings and left Justine to suffer alone.
Afterwards, I felt the guilt crush my soul as the soft, false words of consolation tried to alleviate my dearest Elizabeth. Why did I have to hurt my cousin twice? Why did I not speak up? Was it possible that I still had some sort of protection over my creature? Was that what had stopped me earlier before?
-Victor Frankenstein
After letting the hours pass by steadily, the trial had started. I felt sick to the core of my stomach, thinking that I did not deserve to be here. And once Justine entered, the trial began. There were some things that pinned her down as the murder such as her where-beings that night, and her connection with the necklace. For me it did not matter. I still knew that my monster and I were to blame. Especially I since I was the one that gave the wretched creature life. And then, after having some witnesses stand up and talk about Justine, it was my dearest cousin, Elizabeth, that could no longer hold it in her to keep quiet and let these people keep on talking about Justine with the intention of being a friend, yet speaking of her as if she could have committed the crime. After my cousin gave her opinion on the case, there was a moment of consideration but it was gone just as it had came.
After waiting for night to come to know the verdict, I was forced to tell my Elizabeth that her friend had confessed to the crime. I was confused for some moments, but then my cousin and I went to Justine's little prison-chamber on her request. She then told us truthfully that she was not guilty, and that she was still innocent. With that, I could no longer look upon her. I knew she would die believing that I was a dear friend to her, instead of truthfully knowing that I had brought this onto her.And so we left on bitter partings and left Justine to suffer alone.
Afterwards, I felt the guilt crush my soul as the soft, false words of consolation tried to alleviate my dearest Elizabeth. Why did I have to hurt my cousin twice? Why did I not speak up? Was it possible that I still had some sort of protection over my creature? Was that what had stopped me earlier before?
-Victor Frankenstein
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The Consequences (Chapter 7)
A few days ago I received a letter from my father informing me that my youngest brother, William, had been murdered. Of the many people of our family, the littlest, who had barely began to know life, had his life taken away from him. I did not want to leave my family alone in this time, I myself, did not want to be alone. I thought that I could try to console them and that by going to visit them it would bring me some sort of peace I have been trying to find. On my way to my home, I could no longer stand it. I needed to let go of everything and just let my anguish come crushing over my soul. There was just an extent on how long I could fight back, but I knew I could no longer fight back. But after releasing those emotions, I was able to move on. But fate still persisted that I remember what I still needed to finish first. I went for a walk alone letting my words come and go as they pleased, as they tortured me. And then I saw the lightening. It brought back all the feelings I had once felt but it also brought new ones. I still felt the same fascination towards it but I also felt anger towards it as well. If I had not seen that first remarkable lightening, I would of never had thought of the beginning of my research. Everything reminded me of my heinous creation. And when the beautiful, illuminating, lightening struck again, I was revolted to perceive the outline of his form across the trees. In that instant, with the cold rain striking me, the cold realization hit me that this monster I formed was the murderer. Was it a cruel trick that fate played upon me to see once more a reflection of myself through the repulsing monster I formed? But I had not just seen him that he vanished once more.
I arrived to my house with my feelings all tangled up, when my second youngest brother, Ernest, came and told me that they believed that the murderer was Justine. And just as my mind was barely comprehending what had happened with my encounter with my creation, I was even more crushed knowing that Justine was being wrongly accused. And while I tried to resolve things, I knew deep down that I had brought this on my family, friends, and myself.
-Victor Frankenstein
Mood: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace
I arrived to my house with my feelings all tangled up, when my second youngest brother, Ernest, came and told me that they believed that the murderer was Justine. And just as my mind was barely comprehending what had happened with my encounter with my creation, I was even more crushed knowing that Justine was being wrongly accused. And while I tried to resolve things, I knew deep down that I had brought this on my family, friends, and myself.
-Victor Frankenstein
Mood: Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace
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